Leaders and their vulnerability

Many experts say (links in the end) that the strongest connection and, consequently, the best performance happen in teams where the leader is not afraid to show that they are human, just like everyone else.

For the many years I have been a manager, I have always wondered if I, as a leader,  could show my subordinates that I am an ordinary human and have the same emotions and feelings. For some of you, the answer may be obvious. Still, given the realities of Russian corporations (I have never worked in a foreign company), I extremely rarely came across ‘humane’ top managers.

My experience working in large companies has repeatedly shown that a manager is always tough, efficient, and energetic. They never talk about their feelings or experiences; they rarely build deep connections with their team.

As I read books, shaped my views, and self-reflected, I realized that such a way of communication felt foreign to me. A high level of empathy and ability to form meaningful relationships with people seemed incompatible with the requirements for a successful corporate leader.

For example, I thought it would be shameful to tell someone that I was tired and feeling unwell after an exhausting work week with constant sleep deprivation. It seemed that admitting such things was equal to showing weakness, which could diminish my credibility with my subordinates and other managers.

At some point, I even truly believed that building a corporate career in Russia was impossible unless you knew how to be extremely tough.

Fortunately, communication with people from other companies, prominent entrepreneurs, managers, and friends made me realize that I was wrong. It took me years of various experiences before I realized that it is crucial to always stay human, regardless of your role.

The main thing is the ability to be different but stay true to yourself no matter what happens. It’s important to integrate your personality into everything that you do.

Being yourself is just great! Being an open-minded, joyful, respectful, empathic person who loves their life and can show and name emotions is great. I don’t want to purposely shape myself into someone else at work.

And this approach is working so far! I am who I am in any situation, both professionally and personally. And this does not stop me from achieving my goals. And most importantly, I enjoy life so much more now. I no longer feel that I am ‘living someone else’s life’ and pretending to be someone I’m not.

Do you agree that being a human on a workplace, even if you’re an executive, is normal?

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Links:

https://m.signalvnoise.com/the-3-most-effective-ways-to-build-trust-as-a-leader/

https://learn.g2.com/vulnerable-leadership

https://ideas.ted.com/how-showing-vulnerability-helps-build-a-stronger-team/

https://emergenetics.com/blog/the-connection-between-vulnerability-and-trust-in-teams/